SAFE Educational Brochures

Posted in SAFE Info

General SAFE Brochure - English (PDF download)
For Everyone

Abused Men's Brochure - English (PDF download)
For Men

Abused Gay Men's Brochure - English (PDF download)
For GBT Men

Abused Lesbian's Brochure - English (PDF download)
For LBT Women

Dating Violence Brochure - English (PDF download)
For Everyone

Are the brochures available in other languages?

Volunteers are busy translating these brochures into a multitude of languages. Contact us for details on downloading brochures that are in development.

What brochures will be available in the future?


  • Elderly Abuse
  • Teen Abuse
  • Cyber Bullying
  • Bullying

Can I print the brochure from the web page?

We used to not allow printing of brochures because we ran this as a self-funded brochure program. Over the years, however, we decided to increase the impact of the brochure program by making them freely available. We are giving you a license to print them freely at this time.

Please note that the brochures are still copyrighted by Stop Abuse For Everyone

Can I phone you and request an order?

 Yes, phone our office at 661-829-6848.

I am an individual, not a representative of an organization, but would like to help get agencies to offer it. What can I do?

Print out ten of each brochure. Then take the brochures to law enforcement, medical or mental health providers, social service agencies, state and federal agencies, churches, libraries, community centers, domestic violence agencies, and any other agency that may be interested. Encourage them to download and print out the brochures. Find out who orders such literature for each agency, (a face to face brief meeting is best but a phone call can work as well), and get the URL and sample brochures in their hands. Check back in 30 days to see if they have made a decision and are acting to have it available in the same manner they currently make available other domestic violence literature. If you actually took the time and made the effort to contact 10 organizations, you could have a huge impact! This is not as hard as it sounds: make some phone calls, ask some questions, find the right person, mail it out. Look at the list above, hospitals, police, etc. There are many organizations that currently distribute domestic violence brochures etc., find out who does in your area and contact them directly.

What if I have other questions?

Click Here to Contact Us


Posted in SAFE Info

National Survey: More men than women victims of intimate partner violence

According to a 2010 national survey by the Centers for Disease Control and U.S. Department of Justice, in the last 12 months more men were victims of intimate partner physical violence than women and over 40% of severe physical violence was directed at men. Also, men were the victim of psychological aggression and control over sexual or reproductive health more often than women. Despite this facts, fewer services are available to male victims of intimate partner violence than females. Click here to read article.

Male IPV victims are ridiculed, accused of being the batterer or referred to batter programs too often. DV agencies are less helpful than friends, mental health and medical personnel.

This is the first large-scale, nationally-based, quantitative study to systematically detail the help seeking experiences of men who have sustained IPV from their female partners. Results indicate that men who seek help for IPV victimization have the most positive experiences in seeking help from family/friends, and mental health and medical providers. They have the least positive experiences with members of the DV service system. Cumulative positive help seeking experiences were associated with lower levels of alcohol abuse; cumulative negative experiences were associated with higher rates of exceeding a clinical cut-off for post-traumatic stress disorder. Results are discussed in terms of implications for the social service sector and for future research. Click here to read article. More on the help men do or do not receive here

Hundreds of studies show similar rates of female-male and male-female intimate partner violence.

According to 249 studies (213 from the U.S.) between 2000 and 2010, approximately 1 in 4 women (23.1%) and 1 in 5 men (19.3%) experienced physical violence in an intimate relationship, with an overall pooled prevalence estimate of 22.4%. Analyses revealed considerable variability in rates as a function of methodological issues.

Across 111 studies of perpetrators, the overall pooled prevalence estimate was 24.8%. Consistent with prior reviews, pooled prevalence was slightly greater for female- compared to male-perpetrated physical IPV: more than 1 in 4 women (28.3%) and 1 in 5 men (21.6%) reported perpetrating physical violence in an intimate relationship. This pattern of results remained when we calculated pooled prevalence estimates by sample and study characteristics, with few exceptions. Findings underscore the need for interventions that acknowledge the use of violence by women in intimate relationships.

Fiebert’s updated annotated bibliography from 2012 examines 292 scholarly investigations; 224 empirical studies and 68 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners. The aggregate sample size in the reviewed studies exceeds 373,800.

Draft recommendation on IPV screening ignores men, ignores studies that IPV screening for males has as much predictive value as screening for men.

The United States Preventative Services Task Force recently released a draft recommendation that clinicians screen women for intimate partner violence, IPV, such as domestic violence. The recommendation report is blind to male victims of IPV , even though the 2010 CDC national survey demonstrated that more men than women are victims of IP physical violence. It ignores studies demonstrating the positive predictive value of IPV screening of men. Its evidence review found only three studies rated higher than “fair.” One was for screening for childhood sexual abuse. The authors of the other two later concluded that there was insufficient evidence to support IPV screening. The evidence review and draft report ignored studies and a significant meta-analysis that conflicted with its recommendation. Ignoring IPV against men harms women, since female-initiated IPV is one of the most important predictors of subsequent female injury. Click here to the read article. More on IPV screening here

When offender treatment is the focus, the results suggest that effectiveness could be enhanced by changing treatment programs to address assaults by both partners when applicable.  Straus, M.A. (2011) Gender symmetry and mutuality in perpetration of clinical-level partner violence: Empirical evidence and implications for prevention and treatment Aggression and Violent Behavior 16 (2011) 279–288

More on perpetrator treatment programs here. For more research on men and intimate partner violence, check out the MenWeb Online Journal at


Posted in SAFE Info

According to a study in 2011 by the National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice Statistics, 20% of U.S. students between grades 9-12 have experienced bullying. Bullying was identified by the Center for Disease Control and Department of Education as a perceived power imbalance through repeated unwanted aggressive behavior from an individual or individuals. Both indirect and direct, perpetrators use physical, verbal, and relational abuse to harm individuals, resulting in depression, anxiety, isolation, and possible suicide from victims. Despite intervention from bystanders, bullying is still an ongoing concern both in schools and in workplaces.

For more information on bullying, here are some resources listed below:
Stop Bullying
Bullying Statistics and Facts
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: (800) 273-8255

Domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence, affects both males and females in intimate relationships. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, domestic violence includes rape, sexual assault, robbery, and aggravated assault committed by intimate partners, immediate family members, or other relatives. A study found that approximately 1 in 4 (28.3%) women and 1 in 5 (21.6%) men have experienced physical violence in an intimate relationship. With domestic violence accounting for 21% of all violent crimes, studies have found that domestic violence was more commonly committed against females (76%) compared to males (24%).

If you or someone you know has been physically or sexually assaulted by their partner or spouse, here are some resources listed below:
What is domestic violence?
Violence Against Women
National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-7233

According to the National Council on Aging, elderly abuse is identified as physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, exploitation, neglect, and abandonment by perpetrators ranging from family members to “trusted others.” Characterized as individuals above the age of 65, victims of elder abuse are more likely to experience abuse by a family member than any other individual. A study of 4,156 older adults found that “family members were the most common perpetrators of financial exploitation,” with friends and neighbors coming next, being followed by home care aides.

If you or an elder you know has been physically or sexually assaulted, here are some resources listed below:
National Council on Aging
Administration on Aging

Abusive partners in LGBT relationships use physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, in addition to financial control and isolation to control their partners. By maintaining power, abusers use threats and justification as tactics to continue the abuse. Some other tactics include intimidation, blame, privilege, and economic abuse in order to feel dominant and powerful in the relationship. According to the Human Rights Campaign, 40 percent of gay men experience sexual violence while only 21 percent of heterosexual men experience it.

If you or someone you know has been physically or sexually assaulted, here are some LGBT-friendly resources listed below:
National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey
Human Rights Campaign
National Sexual Assault Hotline: (800) 656-4673
The Anti-Violence Project Hotline: (212) 714-1124
Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project Hotline: (800) 832-1901

Sibling abuse was identified by the University of Michigan as the physical, emotional, or sexual abuse by one sibling towards another. Abuse between siblings ranges from pushing and shoving to using weapons for violent behavior. Rather than recognizing the behavior as abuse, parents will ignore the aggression that persists between siblings. Without seeing the behavior as physical abuse, much of the violence from siblings remains ignored. According to a study conducted in 2005, about 35 per 100 children have been abused by a sibling. In addition, sibling abuse is said to be more common than parent-child incest.

If you or someone you know has been physically or sexually assaulted by their sibling, here are some resources listed below:
University of Michigan: Sibling Abuse
National Child Abuse Hotline: (800) 422-4453

Information On Domestic Violence

Posted in SAFE Info


It Doesn't Matter Who You Are 

Domestic violence can happen to anybody. It happens to women, men, persons of all social classes, and people who speak all different languages. It happens regardless of sexual orientation or religion; however, many individuals do not realize that domestic violence happens in same-sex relationships, to men, teens, siblings, and the elderly.

Facts About Domestic Violence

Many Victims of Domestic Violence Face Enormous Barriers When Trying to Get Help

One survey highlighted the discriminatory practices of many domestic violence shelters, concluding that lesbian and gay victims “still did not have consistent access to culturally competent services to prevent and address the violence against them.”

(National Center for Victims of Crime and the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs. Why it Matters. 2010.

Another analysis concluded, “the exclusion of men appears to be the norm.”

(Stop Abusive and Violent Environments. Domestic Violence Programs Discriminate Against Male Victims.Rockville, MD. 2010. (

Although Alarming, About one in 10 American Couples Engages in Intimate Partner Violence Each Year

About one in 10 intimate partner relationships experience some form of partner aggression (slap, shove, punch, etc.) each year.

 (For example, the 1992 National Alcohol and Family Violence Survey found 9.5% of men and 9.1% of women in married or cohabiting relationships had experienced inter-partner violence in the previous year.)

Crime surveys (aka National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS) and criminal justice statistics (arrests) are not valid indicators of overall levels of Intimate Partner Violence. National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS), which collects information on nonfatal crimes reported and not reported to the police from a nationally representative sample of U.S. households. (

All Segments of Society are Affected by Domestic Violence...But It Is Largely Seen in Certain Types of Groups

Domestic violence is more common in the following groups:

• Lower income couples.

(Department of Justice. Criminal Victimization in the United States, 2007. February 2010. NCJ 227669. Table 35. ty=pbdetail&iid=1743)

• Couples who are not in intact married relationships

(Catalano S. Intimate Partner Violence, 1993–2010. U.S. Department of Justice, 2012. Table 1.

• Lesbian and gay partners

(Zahnd E, Grant D, Aydin M et al. Nearly Four Million California Adults are Victims of Intimate Partner Violence. Los Angeles, CA: UCLA Center for Health Policy Research, 2010.)

Partner Aggression Often Goes Both Ways

A comprehensive review of research conducted with large population samples found 58% of all intimate partner violence is bi-directional.

(Jennifer Langhinrichsen-Rohling. Rates of bi-directional vs. uni-directional intimate partner violence: A comprehensive review. Partner Abuse Vol. 3, No. 2, 2012.

A survey by the Centers for Disease Control found that injury was more than twice as likely when the violence was reciprocal (28.4%), compared to unidirectional violence (11.6%).

(Whitaker DJ et al. Differences in frequency of violence and reported injury between relationships with reciprocal and nonreciprocal intimate partner violence. American Journal of Public Health, Vol. 97, No. 5, 2007.)

Many Are Surprised To Learn That Men and Women Engage in Domestic Violence at Similar Rates

Female initiation of partner violence is the leading reason for the woman becoming a victim of subsequent injury. Dr. Sandra Stith has called it “a dramatically more important factor than anything else.”

(Stith S, Smith DB, Penn CE, et al. Intimate partner physical abuse perpetration and victimization risk factors: A meta-analytic review. Aggression and Violent Behavior Vol. 10, 2004. pp. 65-98.)

According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, more than five million men and nearly five million women experience some type of violence at the hands of their partners every year.

(Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey. Atlanta, GA.2011. Tables 4.7 and 4.8.

Many Factors Can Contribute to Domestic Violence

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control has identified over 25 different causes of domestic violence. These include individual, relationship, and community factors. Substance abuse, marital instability, psychological disorders, and other factors are known to often lead to domestic violence incidents.

 (Centers for Disease Control: Intimate Partner Violence: Risk and Protective Factors.

America is Making Progress in their National Effort to Curb Intimate Partner Aggression

Since the mid-1970s, domestic violence among intimate partners has fallen dramatically, whether violence is assessed by community surveys, (1) crime surveys of non-fatal violence, (2) or FBI homicide statistics. (3)

(1) (From 1975 to 1992. Male victims: From 11.6% to 9.5% of couples). crime surveys of non-fatal violence, (Source: U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001. Table 2.

(2) (From 1993 to 2001. Male victims: From 1.6 to 0.9/1,000 persons. Female victims: From 9.8 to 5.0/1,000 persons. Source: U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001. Table 2.

(3) (From 1976 to 2000. Male victims: From 1,357 to 440 murders. Female victims: From 1,600 to 1,247 murders.Source: U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001.

False Accusations of Domestic Violence

      Each year, about 175,000 children are involved in a divorce with a false allegation of domestic violence.
      To Learn More About False Accusations:

One study of divorcing couples with custody disputes found that DV allegations were made in 55% of the cases,
59% of which could not be substantiated as true. Other studies have reported similar percentages of divorces
that involve accusations of abuse. Thus, each year, many thousands of children experience divorces in which
false allegations of partner violence are made, allegations that often serve as the basis to deprive children
of contact from one of their parents.

The Domestic Violence Debate

There is a big debate in the domestic violence community over how to respond to the needs of "non-traditional" victims of domestic violence.

Many advocates against domestic violence believe that domestic violence mainly effects women being abused by men. Their theory is that men beat women to maintain patriarchal power in relationships. Since they have this theory of domestic violence, they believe focusing on anything other than heterosexual women victims is a distraction from the real issue.

Stop Abuse For Everyone, (which -- as our name says) is for an inclusive vision of domestic violence. SAFE believes that all victims of domestic violence are important, and is concerned that many victims will not be offered services when needed and SAFE wants to ensure that services are being offered for anybody who needs them. Men, for example, are not very likely to seek out services from a "women's shelter", unless they've heard that they are welcome there. The same goes for gay men and even lesbian women, in some cases. SAFE believes that we should never underestimate the importance of violence against women, but we should look at the big picture of violence in relationships.

Inevitably, both groups clash over statistics. Abused women's advocates point out that hospital records and police records tend to show much higher rates of women being battered. Advocates for all victims point out that these numbers are misleading, because they only indicate people who seek out help. They often site Martin Feibert's bibliography of over 200 studies showing men and women to be equally violent in their personal relationships, and that men and women are equally violent internationally. Abused women's advocates counter that women are injured at much higher rates and criticize the way the studies in the bibliography were conducted. Advocates for all victims counter that these studies and the statistics in them are widely used, even by abused women's advocates, and that research taking into account their criticism has produced the same results.

Conclusively, it's an extensive discussion. It takes a lot of reading to be informed enough to discuss the topic rationally. Even then, the arguments do not focus on the correct discussion. Both sides will agree that non-traditional victims exist, they just disagree over whether it's 5% or 35% or 50% of the problem. And they disagree over how much emphasis should be put on these victims.

SAFE's perspective is that we should not be looking at the type of person but instead look at the severity of their circumstances. The same criteria should be used to evaluate all victims/survivors of domestic violence.

Why does this matter to you if you're looking for help? Help is hard to come by if you're not a 'traditional victim' of domestic violence. Fortunately, SAFE is here to help.

Size does not matter

One particular problem abused men face is that there is a perception that men cannot be abused because they are, on average, physically stronger than women. What most people do not stop to think about is that physical strength is only half of the equation. The other part of it is how much of that strength one is willing to use to harm their partner. As one man put it: ''People always looked at me dubiously if I told them that my ex-wife had abused me. I'm much bigger than she was, and I'm sure they find it difficult to understand how that could happen. What they don't understand is that she was willing to stay up all night screaming at me and throwing things at me, she was willing to take it to any level to get what she wanted. I wasn't -- I would give up and give in. And the same thing went for violence -- I just wasn't willing to hit her back."

Most People Leave An Abusive Relationship a Couple of Times

This is well known in domestic violence circles, but it may be new to you. Friends of domestic violence victims are often amazed to see their friends or family members going back to the abusive relationship. It is agonizing to see, but it is extremely common. Convince them to leave, but realize that it is their decision, and ultimately they will have to decide.

Help is Available

Although few services are available, they are out there. See the getting help section of this website.

More information on domestic violence:

Essays on Domestic Violence - contains essays on a variety of topics, including stalking, abused men, sibling violence, and more.
Books on Domestic Violence - books on abused men, same-sex violence, and more.
Websites on Domestic Violence - sites that deal with abused women, abused men, and same-sex victims.
Research on Domestic Violence - research on abused women, abused men, same-sex victims, teen dating violence, and all forms of domestic violence.
Domestic Violence Resources - fliers, brochures, and other materials on domestic violence.

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