National Affinity Network

Posted in Uncategorised

national affiliate networkNational Affinity Network

Local affinity groups are what really make the biggest difference to the victims who need them!

Stop Abuse for Everyone (SAFE) launched its National Affinity Network in July 2013. The purpose of the network is twofold: to facilitate the creation of local groups in communities with an interest in providing information, a hotline, support groups, education on the issues, advocate for more services in your area...and to support and assist all victims of family abuse. SAFE will assist in providing information and resources needed to form groups to join our network. Acting independently, many such local groups throughout the country have already established themselves as respected advocates for domestic violence issues within their communities.

While the Network has been an important element of SAFE's program plan since its inception, the stimulus for fast-tracking its implementation has been the apparent need for it; since its launch, SAFE has been contacted by a number of individuals throughout the country who have either participated in the development of such groups or wish to initiate one


TO LEARN MORE ABOUT STARTING A CHAPTER IN YOUR AREA, PLEASE CONTACT US.

SAFE Domestic Violence Brochures

Posted in Uncategorised


“Dear Abby” endorsed our brochures in her column


Abused Men's Brochure - English
(PDF download)
For men
 

Abused Gay Men's Brochure - English (PDF download)
For GBT men
 

Abused Lesbian's Brochure - English (PDF download)
For LBT women
 


Question: Are the brochures available in other languages?

Answer: Volunteers are busy translating these brochures into a multitude of languages. You can see the status of the translation effort. Any brochure that is in the In production or To be printed stage is available.  Contact us for details on downloading brochures that are To Be Printed.


Question: What brochures will be available in the future?

Answer:

  • Senior's abuse brochure
  • Teen's abuse brochure
  • General SAFE brochure

Question: Can I print the brochure from the web page?

Answer: We used to not allow printing of brochures, as we ran this as a self-funded brochure program. However, after many years, we decided to increase the impact of the brochure program by making them freely available. Note that the brochures are still copyrighted by Stop Abuse For Everyone. We are giving you a license to print them freely at this time.


Question: Can I phone you and request an order?

Answer: We do not accept orders. You must download the copy yourself and print it yourself.


Question: I am an individual, not a representative of an organization, but would like to help get agencies to offer it. What can I do?

Answer: Print out ten of each brochure. Take the brochures to law enforcement, medical or mental health providers, social service agencies, state and federal agencies, churches, libraries, community centers, domestic violence agencies, and any other agency that may be interested. Encourage them to download and print out the brochures. Find out who orders such literature for each agency, (a face to face brief meeting is best, but a phone call can work), and get the URL and sample brochures in their hands. Check back in 30 days to see if they have made a decision and are acting to have it available in the same manner they currently make available other domestic violence literature. If you actually took the time and made the effort to contact 10 organizations, you could have a huge impact! This is not as hard as it sounds: make some phone calls, ask some questions, find the right person, mail it out. Look at the list above, hospitals, police, etc. There are many organizations that currently distribute domestic violence brochures etc., find out who does in your area and contact them directly.


Question: What if I have other questions?

Answer:  Click Here to Contact Us

Join Our Media Corp

Posted in Uncategorised

Interested in making a difference in how domestic violence issues are reported on? Want to only volunteer 5 or 10 minutes at a time, from your own home?

Stop Abuse For Everyone has started up the Stop Abuse For Everyone Media Corps. Every day, we send out postings of news articles from around the world that cover domestic violence, and suggest ways you can write short, polite letters to the reporters, editors, and agencies involved to encourage them to include everyone who is abused in their services. To join, write This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

SAFE Media Corps

Do you want to see more inclusive media coverage of domestic violence? Coverage that includes women and men, gay and straight, young and old? The SAFE Media Corps is an easy way to make a huge impact, all on only 5-10 minutes a week.

Several times a week, we send out postings of news articles from around the world that cover domestic violence, and suggest ways you can write short, polite letters to the reporters, editors, and agencies involved to encourage them to include everyone who is abused in their services.

To partipate:

  1. Join our SAFE Media Corps forum. Click on "request notification" to receive email alerts.
  2. Read our resources on domestic violence.
  3. Consider also subscribing to the SAFE blog, which contains news items related to domestic violence, and is closely tied in with the SAFE Media Corps.
To become a Media Corps Organizer:

Books of Interest

Posted in Uncategorised

Books on Domestic Violence

abusedmen Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence
by Philip W. Cook
Praeger Publishers 1997
Westport, CT
ISBN: 0-275-95862-0
Amazon's summary: "When most people think of domestic violence, images of battered women or abused children come to mind. But there is another side to this issue that is not as familiar--abused men. This unique book is the first to comprehensively examine this important but neglected social issue. Already praised by a diverse spectrum of readers--from "Dear Abby's" Abigail Van Buren, to the nation's leading domestic violence researcher, to those in law enforcement and counseling--this work is sure to spark controversy and discussion. It offers gripping, emotional stories, self-help for victims, and provocative insight into public issues, and provides a basic reference source for professionals. Abused Men presents practical solutions for reducing domestic violence, whether its victims are male or female."



A website with more information about the book is located at: http://www.abusedmen.com

  • Domestic Violence: The 12 Things You Aren't Supposed to Know by Thomas B. James is a well-researched book on domestic violence, which looks at how it affects abused men and other groups typically left out of the picture (reviewed by Dr. Jack Turteltaub)

  • Elusive Innocence: Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused by Dean Tong. Description: "This book is a training manual for the defense for those falsely accused. By providing actual case studies, his own included, the author shows the destruction that is incurred by families due to false allegations of child abuse. Having been falsely accused himself, the author gives the pitfalls and shows how to combat and defeat false abuse allegations. " (added 9/13/01) Note that purchasing using this link gives a 5% donation to SAFE, with additional cost to you.
  • Violent Betrayal: Partner Abuse in Lesbian Relationships by Claire Renzetti (Sage Publications, 1992) is a book for people interested in finding out more about abusive lesbian relationships.

  • Violence in Gay and Lesbian Domestic Partnerships, by Claire Renzetti (editor).

  • A Professional Guide to Understanding Gay and Lesbian Domestic Violence: Understanding Practice Interventions. McClennen & Gunther (1999).

  • Reclaiming Your Life: the Gay Man's Guide to Love, Self-Acceptance, and Trust, by Rik Isensee. One reader on Amazon reviewed the book as so: "This book was formerly titled "Growing Up Gay in a Dysfunctional Family: a Guide for Gay Men Reclaiming Their Lives". The author goes very indepth in describing the makeup of abusive, homophobic families and the impact it has on a gay child growing up. While I myself did not grow up in this type of environment, I still learned a great deal about my own reactions to outside homophobia and that for years I internalized it and developed negative thinking patterns about myself; etc. I thank the author for writing this book, not only for helping me identify problems I needed to work through, but for helping me realize how to develope the skills needed to self nurture and stop internalizing homophobia. Above all, this book is especially relevant to abuse survivors, it will definitely help you."

  • Waking to Tears: Losing a Loved One to Violence by Traci Bieber Nelson "It is a compilation of stories from people across the globe who have lost a loved one to violence. One of the aspects of the book is that the author includes many different types of violence, including male victims." (added 9/26/01) Note that purchasing using this link gives a 5% donation to SAFE, with additional cost to you.

  • Same Sex Domestic Violence: Strategies for Change, by B. Leventhal & S. Lundy, Ed., Corwin Press, 1999. Amazon's description: This comprehensive resource book examines a broad range of issues that confront the victims of same-sex domestic violence and those who offer them services. Chapters include topics of practical concern, HIV, same-sex domestic violence, establishing safe-home networks for battered gay men, courtroom advocacy, coalition building and dating violence prevention.

  • No More Secrets: Violence in Lesbian Relationships. Amazon's description: In No More Secrets: Violence in Lesbian Relationships, University of Manitoba women's studies professor Janice Ristock presents one of the first studies of lesbian domestic violence. Basing her work on interviews with victims and social workers, she evaluates firsthand testimony, piecing together how and why lesbian relationships become violent and how the medical and criminal justice systems react when they do. The book concludes with suggestions for battered individuals and for wider community action.

  • Intimate Betrayal: Domestic Violence in Lesbian Relationships, by E. Kaschak, Ed., Haworth Press, 2002.

  • Women to Women Sexual Violence-Does She Call it Rape?, by L. Girshick, Northeastern University Press, 2002. The American Library Association's review on Amazon's webpage says: "Perhaps the most isolated crime victims are lesbian and bisexual survivors of woman-to-woman sexual violence. Multifaceted sexual-identity issues combine with shame and institutionalized heterosexism to make society unable to acknowledge such assaults. The legal system, women's support services, and the lesbian community are just beginning to name such behaviors, let alone confronting and dealing with them. Women's studies professor Girshick breaks new ground as she plumbs the experiences and thoughts of 70 women, gleaned from a nationwide U.S. survey and in-depth interviews. She documents the women's responses to the violence, whether they received or were denied aid, and whether silence was imposed on them. Her insightful and provocative work well may stir controversy even as it sheds light on a previously shadowed subject. Dedicated to "those who are still silenced," the book also powerfully explores the need for community and such preconceived notions and myths as lesbian utopia. A worthy addition to the sociology of violence in women's lives"

  • Lobel, K (Ed.). Naming the Violence: Speaking Out About Lesbian Battering. by Kerry Lobel, Seal Press: Seattle, WA, 1986. The Publishers Weekly on Amazon's website says this: "From Publishers Weekly Sponsored by the Lesbian Task Force of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, this book is ``by and for battered lesbians and those who work to support their empowerment.'' Contributors note that the topic is especiallydifficult for lesbians because, as Barbara Hart, an activist lawyer, states in the preface, lesbian battering ``contradicts our belief in the inherent nonviolence of women,'' and publicity about it ``may enhance the arsenal of homophobes.'' Lobel alternates personal histories with commentary by counselors, activists and others who offer advice on how to treat victims and how to deal with the problem generally. (They note the many parallels to man-woman battering cases.) The victims' stories are wrenching: one battered woman has become so suspicious that when she sees an adult and several girls flying kites in a park (while she writes her contribution to this volume), she remarks only, ``I hope that their relationship is as loving and playful as it looks.'' This collection constitutes a challenge to lesbians who abuse their lovers and to those who tolerate such abuse."

  • Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them.

  • Aider les Hommes Aussi (in French) is a book by a McGill University professor that describes how social workers & health professionals can better serve men. See http://www.mcgill.ca/public/reporter/05/dulac/

  • Insult to Injury: Rethinking Our Responses to Intimate Abuse, by Linda Mills, Ph.D., J.D.. Linda Mills is on the SAFE Speaker's Bureau. (reviewed by Dr. Jack Turteltaub)

  • Domestic tyranny : the making of American social policy against family violence from colonial times to the present, by Elizabeth Pleck.

  • The Anger Workbook for Women: How to Keep Your Anger from Undermining Your Self-Esteem, Your Emotional Balance, and Your Relationships by Laura Petracek. Description: "Although men and women can articulate anger in very different ways, books on managing problem anger tend to focus on men and their tendency toward more violent anger expression. This workbook addresses the unique concerns of women with anger problems. Rigid social patterning, the book argues, conditions many women to stifle or deny their anger, and this repression can cause a range of other psychological problems. Others experience violent, outwardly focused anger. Whichever pattern your anger follows, you'll learn healthier ways to express your anger from this workbook. Building on women's tendency to be more relational than men, this book advocates interactive techniques as a primary method of anger management intervention. It integrates elements of narrative, art, and music therapy into a powerful set of anger management tools. Cognitive behavioral and attitude adjustment exercises help you limit the power of anger-triggering situations. Worksheets and assessments guide you in an examination of family-of-origin issues that might contribute to your problems with anger. Sections of the workbook explore the connection between anger and substance abuse, mood disorders, and spirituality, as well as the issue of domestic violence in lesbian households." (added 4/19/05) Note that purchasing using this link gives a 5% donation to SAFE, with additional cost to you.



  • Gender-Inclusive Treatment of Intimate Partner Abuse: A Comprehensive Approach, by John Hamel, of the SAFE Speaker's Bureau.

Online Support

RESOURCES
FORUM
BLOG